5 years, whole loves between us;
Now the sheets, soft-pressed,
Casting slippery shadows on the
Newest wall I’ll never see.
Ages back I asked you,
Tones subdued—faked hatred raw—
Why you couldn’t love me better.
Now I bite back silly smiles
That defy me evermore.
I forgot how skin remembers,
Minds remind us of an ache
The better portions of our brain
Push to the fringe, shove off the cliff
To ebb, to fade, to burn away.
I could wish we’d never met—
Take back touches, tenderness
That felt like chunks of flesh you’d cut
From me in my distraction
Looking, hopeful, helpless eyes.
I’m not a girl, but you’re a boy;
A near decade we’ve spent dwindling.
I’ve been touched and held and cherished,
Even, odds were stacked against me,
But I saw an easy love.
So it’s been, you’re the hard one;
This seems to matter, making
Matters only harder when
I’ve struck a path that puts 400 miles,
Dust and coast between our feet.
So it is, it’s the hard love,
Full of ghosts and girls I hated
Because of truths ignored and words unsaid,
Ellipses never ending… Not a question,
Not a period in sight…